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Wellness

Meditating when you think you suck at it

by Lorraine C. Ladish April 17, 2019
written by Lorraine C. Ladish April 17, 2019
Meditating when you think you're no good at it

Stressed out but think you can’t meditate? I thought so too! I used to be a go-go-go person. A runner, a dancer, a swimmer. Loved to be on the MOVE all the time. I also loved naps and still do! Shhh!

But in the past, I could simply NOT sit still and meditate.

Now, I even look forward to it. A moving meditation, walking or running is great, but it’s a very different experience from sitting still and quieting the mind.

I started out by setting a timer and meditating for 5 minutes at a time. Nothing complicated. Just focusing on the breath or on a mantra (“so hum” is a favorite go-to. It means “I am”). If thoughts arose I acknowledged them and continued.

When I incrementally graduated to 20 mins I found that the first 10 mins were really a warm up, and only then was I able to get into a state that I can only describe as a brain massage.

Now, when 20 minutes are up, I sometimes keep on going because that zone is just too good to get out of. And it really spills into the rest of my day or night. So if you think you can’t meditate for long maybe try longer! See whether you have the same experience I did!

Trust me, I was no meditator and now I’m loving it.

To get you started, here are three simple ways for you to try meditation:
Japa mala meditation:
Find a mala online (I bought a couple of great ones on Etsy that are made with lava beads, which I can infuse with essential oils). This is a string of beads similar to a rosary, with 108 beads and one larger bead. Sit crossed-legged on the floor, supported by a small cushion, pillow, or a yoga blanket. Keep your spine erect, the crown of your head reaching towards the ceiling, and your shoulders relaxed. Keep a downcast gaze or close your eyes. Holding the mala in your right hand, slide the beads one by one with your thumb (as in this video), while internally repeating a mantra. It could be “OM,” “So-hum” or any other longer or shorter mantra of your choice. When you’ve gone through all the beads a few times, you’re done. Focusing on a mantra and on the movement of your thumb over the beads should help. Still, know thoughts will arise and that being aware of that fact is already a form of meditation!

Mantra meditation:
For this kind of meditation, which is actually my current go-to, I get ready just as above, but skip the mala. I may wear one around my neck or my wrist, infused with an essential oil of my choice, but instead of counting beads, my hands are resting. I keep them face down on my knees if I need grounding (to feel more rooted and secure) or face up if my energy is low, to recharge. After a few deep breaths in and out of the nose, I set a timer for 5, 10, 15 or 20 minutes and as I relax my shoulders, I chant a mantra silently or even out loud if I’m alone. I do love “so-hum” (I am) but I also enjoy the Ganesh mantra: “Om Gam Ganapataye Namo Namaha” said to help remove obstacles, or the Gayatri mantra: “Oṃ bhūr bhuvaḥ svaḥ, tát savitúr váreṇyaṃ, bhárgo devásya dhīmahi, dhíyo yó naḥ pracodáyāt” a chant of gratitude. You may use one of these or make up your own. An affirmation is also a good thing to focus on: “I am here, now.”

Breath awareness meditation:
There are many different ways to regulate the breath (pranayama), and focusing on it is a form of meditation. I enjoy nadi shodana, which is alternate nostril breathing. I sit the same way as above, and then ready myself for a few rounds or even minutes of this mindful practice. I begin by closing my eyes and taking a deep inhalation through the nose, and then exhale slowly. After a few rounds, I fold the tips of my index and middle finger towards the palm. I gently close the right nostril with my thumb and inhale deeply through the left nostril. Then with the ring and pinky finger, I close the left nostril and exhale slowly through the right nostril. I then inhale through the right nostril, close the right nostril with the thumb and exhale. After a few rounds of this, especially if I’ve focused on the sound of my breath or even counted breaths, I feel relaxed and ready to continue my day.

Please don’t get discouraged if you feel meditation is simply not working for you. A trick I’ve used is to do it when I’m physically tired. In fact, that is what asana yoga is for! To prepare the body to sit still while you quiet the mind during meditation. Also know that meditating doesn’t imply the absence of thoughts. You will have thoughts! My personal experience is that I am able to acknowledge the thoughts and wave them away. I also don’t get caught up in them and they cease to affect my emotions. That’s when I know I’m on the right track. The only way to do meditation wrong is not to even try!

Let me know whether you do try!

Many people believe they are not good at meditating. I was one of them! What helped me get out of that mindset was actually trying it! #meditation #meditate #yoga #destress

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Lorraine C. Ladish

I’m a 21st. Century Communicator, helping empower women and others to achieve their goals. I am the founder and CEO of Viva Fifty! a bilingual community that celebrates being 50+. I’ve worked as an editor and social media coordinator for a number of online publications. I’m a content creator and regular contributor to NBCNews, Huffpost, AARP, Babycenter and Mom.me. I’ve contributed to People en Español, La Palma of The Palm Beach Post, Purple Clover, Latina magazine and Redbook . My latest book on embracing age was published by HarperCollins in 2017. But most of all I am a woman, a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a writer, an entrepreneur, a yogini.

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About The Flawed Yogini

About The Flawed Yogini

Yoga & Wellness

I'm Lorraine C. Ladish, bilingual writer, mom, wife & yogi. I started my yoga & wellness journey at 12, with a book by Richard Hittleman. I have a huge flaw, an addictive and compulsive personality. In the long run, this turned out to be my biggest asset. I learned to channel it into leading a creative and productive life. At 58, I'm committed to sharing my journey to inspire others to channel their flaws into positive things and achieve greatness.

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